Road-Tripped by Nicole Archer

Author:Nicole Archer [Archer, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Twist Idea Lab, LLC
Published: 2016-07-31T23:00:00+00:00

“If I had a shiny gun, I could have a world of fun, speeding bullets through the brains of the folks that cause me pains.”—Dorothy Parker

Soundtrack: Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, “Heads Will Roll”

There were many, many, many negative things about Daniel, but he’d been a stellar mentor. Since he owned the agency and had to prove he didn’t just hire her because she was his girlfriend (which he did), he pushed her harder and spent more time shaping her into the perfect employee.

Most importantly, he’d taught her how to fake confidence. “Pretend your words are scientific fact,” he told her. “You may have the best idea in the world, but unless you can sell it, no one will buy it.”

He’d trained her how to present, how to speak, how to act like a good old boy, what to wear, the right body language—all for the sake of appearance.

Whether she’d written a coupon headline for a cheap roll of toilet paper or a million dollar celebrity-endorsed sneaker commercial, she’d applied his techniques with poise and sold her ideas with resounding success. Though most of the time the ideas sold themselves. In fact, RoadStream hadn’t asked for a single revision, which was rare since every client fancied himself as a writer.

Because she’d never met Double Dick — and since dressing well was part of the façade—on the way to the shoot, she’d bought a few professional outfits to make a good first impression.

Wearing said impressionable outfit and sporting the aforementioned fake confidence, she waltzed up to the client as if she were the CEO of the goddamn world. Even though Walker had just made her feel like the most trod upon piece of human excrement that ever existed.

“Dick”—she stuck out her hand—“nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s Richard,” he snarled and gave her limp cold-fish handshake.

“Oh, sorry, Richard.” Later, she’d kill Skip for not mentioning that little tidbit. “I’m Callie.”

He stared at her then flipped his palms up and shrugged. “Well, why are you standing here?” he said with a pompous ass undertone. “We’ve got work to do, and I’m busy going over the script, so . . .”

“Can I help with anything?”

He blinked for a minute then took out his wallet and handed her a few bills. “Yeah. See if you can find a Starbucks around here. I’m gonna pass out if I don’t get a caffeine fix soon.” He turned to Walker. “Want anything? It’s on me.”

The request was so tragically sexist it made her laugh like a braying donkey. “You want me to get you coffee?” She gave him wrinkly-nosed smile, daring him to say that cute joke again.

He pulled out another five. “Fine. Get one for yourself.” He faced Walker and turned his back on her. “As I was saying, before we start, I have a lot of script changes to go over with you—”

She tapped Dick on the shoulder. “You have script changes?”

Walker, who apparently spoke penis, translated for her. “Richard, Callie wrote the script, not me.”

Cheeks pushed up and mouth shoved down, the client gave her a once-over that screamed repulsion.

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